With Mother's Day right around the corner, a few thoughts have been swimming around in my mind. Please don't wish me a happy Mother's Day or say you know I'll be a mother someday. However sincere you may be in saying these things, they feel empty. They feel like the words you say because the situation is uncomfortable and you don't know what else to say but think you still have to say something. This day celebrates what so many assume to come easily. Yay for you, you had unprotected sex! (If this is news to you about where babies come from, then....damn) I know someone who conceived her second child because there was nothing good on Netflix and she and her husband were bored. True story. I also know someone who sent me three different invitations to her baby shower, ignoring the fact that we haven't seen each other in years. And oh yeah...the fact that I've had two miscarriages in two years and a baby shower is the last place I want to be.
I don't have a perfect solution for how I would like people to approach this holiday with me. Quite frankly, I'd rather spend the day curled up watching Hannibal and waiting for it to end.
I know this doesn't make sense. I know it sounds weird to be in so much pain for what I've lost yet not giving it all I've got to get it again. Except I am giving it my all in my own way. And all I ask is for a little understanding in return.
Understand that this day sucks for me. Plain and simple.
Understand that I probably won't want to talk about it.
Understand that in my eyes, you mothers have absolutely no idea how lucky you are.
Understand my wishes not to go see specialists or take supplements. My reproductive health is none of your business, so don't ask me about it.
Understand that I am working through this the best I can.
