It's understandable to become reflective during this time of year. I thought about doing another favorites post like I did at the end of 2015, but somehow that doesn't feel right this year. Maybe it's because in one way or another, 2016 has kicked everyone's butt. That isn't to say nothing good happened this year, but dang it seems like there's been an inordinate amount of bad things. I tweeted that this should have been expected with a year that started off by taking the legendary David Bowie from us. I feel like I have a lot to say and contemplate, yet at the same time, my mind feels blank. I guess I'll just list the standout things of this year, good and bad, and see where it takes me.
We bought a house
I became pregnant, only to have another miscarriage and need a D&C
We went to Disneyland and Universal Studios with my in-laws
I spent 10 days in New York with my mom and sister
I discovered what very well may be my new favorite TV show
We went to the ice castles in Midway, something I've wanted to do for a long time
I finally figured out my next step as far as my career
My dad fell and had a partial hip replacement
My parents had to put our family dog of probably at least 15 years down
Husband's little brother got married
Husband's little sister got engaged
I started dying my own hair with great results. I never used to trust myself to do so.
My sister became pregnant with baby #3
I started my cooking blog-and I'll be starting it up again hopefully next week!
Husband and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary
Those are the main things that came to mind fairly quickly. I'm sure there's others that I'm not thinking of. And there you have it. 2016 was up and down, and I'm not very sorry to see it go. Here's to hoping 2017 brings the good things we all are wishing for.
Yes, I am still here. Things have been pretty quiet since July. I'm not going to touch on that thing that happened last week because there is SO MUCH of that already going on. My voice would just get lost in the noise and quite frankly, I don't want to share my thoughts on that here. So, I will post about some of the events that happened when I went to New York not quite a month ago.
My mom and I stayed with my sister in West Point for 10 days. Not every day had something planned, and it will be pretty apparent what was my favorite of the things we did. We went to the Statue of Liberty, that's kind of a given when one visits New York. What can I say about that? My first time seeing her was in high school, but she's still beautiful and represents something a little bit different to everyone.
We also saw The Lion King on Broadway. I had seen the show as done by a touring company maybe 5ish years ago with my ex and his family, but my mom and sister hadn't seen it before. Again, how do I describe something so fantastic? I will say this: The Broadway version was absolutely stunning, and if you get the chance, I highly recommend seeing it there. You get your money's worth in Circle of Life alone, if you ask me. However, if a traveling company comes your direction, don't turn your nose up at it!! It will still be beautiful. The differences were small. The Broadway cast has the advantage of a stage with built ins, and that's honestly the only huge difference I could pick up on. If Hakuna Matata doesn't fill you with childlike joy, then...you might be a lost cause. And if He Lives in You doesn't make you at least misty, then I really don't know what to do with you. This guy was above the escalators and stairs as you leave the theater.
My only complaint about the show is that the cactus butt line is not in the stage version. Sorry to disappoint. And incase you have no idea what I'm talking about:
A completely different kind of show we were also lucky enough to attend was a taping of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
We stood in line (with priority tickets, mind you) for probably a total of two hours. One hour outside the studio and another hour inside. Worth it? Oh yes. Before the taping, Stephen came out and answered a few audience questions and then we listened to his house band while we waited for the show to start. I didn't like his band. Sorry. But it was fun to see how the tapings work and see Stephen more candidly talking with the audience. It was apparently much colder in the studio than normal that day and he commented on that several times. It was also exhausting. We were the laugh track, applause, and whatever other reactions may be needed for the show. So we had to be "on", if you will, for a good part of the taping. Jumping around, clapping, screaming, just all around being super enthusiastic about everything. So it was fun, but very tiring.
Back when we were in the planning stages of this trip, my sister told me she discovered she lives close to the actual town of Sleepy Hollow. I jumped on that immediately and said we had to go.
There are several Halloween time activities that the town has, and I picked a dramatic recitation of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow performed by a master storyteller. I could not have made a better decision! But before I get to that, some pictures!
That pumpkin guy was at an intersection, and this is a sign on a part of the sidewalk as you approach the Old Dutch Church. I don't know if you can read it, but it says "Sleepy Hollow Bridge. Erected to the memory of Washington Irving. 1783-1859." As you continue to the church, not 100 feet from that sidewalk/bridge, you'll see this sign:
The town has obviously changed quite a bit since Washington Irving's time. The actual bridge he wrote about is gone, sadly. This is a bridge in the area, but not the bridge:
Much more what you'd think of when you hear the story, isn't it? I wish I could adequately express how much I loved being there. I've always loved the Legend and the headless horseman though I have no idea exactly why.
This was just at the base of a flagpole. It made me so happy to see they've embraced the history of the town with little things like this. There is also a statue of this scene, but due to the trees and the lighting when I tried to take a picture, I don't have a good picture of that. Anyway, on to the church and cemetery!
The cemetery is on the other side of the church. As you can see, the church is quite small. I believe it seats around 100 people, possibly less. And the storyteller gave his performance inside that very church. SO COOL. I promise, I'll get to that more in one second. I took this picture of the church as we were waiting to get inside:
Sigh...I could live in this little town and be home. But on to the storyteller.
This was his setup inside the church. Photography and recording weren't allowed during the actual performance. I can understand why, but I really would have loved to capture him in action. His name is Jonathan Kruk and he was absolutely incredible. I already want to go back next Halloween. When I come across something I really like, I want to share it, so here are some snippets of what we saw:
The entire performance was about 45 minutes. He was not wearing a microphone, all that projection is just him. The video gives a good idea of what we saw, but truly the magic of it can only be experienced in person. I wasn't sure what I was getting us into going to see a master storyteller, but I am so happy that's what we did.
West Point itself is beautiful in the fall.
I believe this picture was on our way to Sleepy Hollow, but look at those colors! All the mountains look like that. It's glorious. And this is the view of the Hudson River from West Point:
Really a beautiful place to be that time of year. The weather cooperated with us too, which was a bonus. It didn't get really cold and stormy until it was time for us to head home. And that's a fairly decent overview of my New York trip. Hope you enjoyed reading about it! I enjoyed writing about it.
Every now and then I think about deleting this blog because I don't write very often. But then I think I should keep it for that elusive someday.
If you think about it, there's quite a bit I could choose to write about. Our world is seriously messed up right now. It's easy to get caught up in the horrible news stories and get truly scared about what the future holds. However, call me crazy, but I don't think that's any kind of way to live life. I could take my recent miscarriage as a sign this world is too awful to bring a child into. I could spend hours on social media arguing with complete strangers about basically anything. Look around and you'll find someone who disagrees with you on every opinion you have. But, as I've said many times, what does this accomplish?
Nothing.
It accomplishes nothing.
I'm not going to sit here and give suggestions about what to do instead, that is up to everyone as individuals. Honestly I don't want to write yet another commentary on the state of things today. There's plenty of those already.
I want to write about things that make me, and others happy. Since I last posted, as I mentioned earlier, I did have a miscarriage. It was early and completely different from what happened last February. It was excruciating (physically) and put me in the hospital for my first ever real surgery if you don't count having my wisdom teeth removed back in junior high. Husband and I decided to be open about what happened in order to start a dialogue and take away some of the stigma that seems to be attached to miscarriage. Since it happened, countless people have come out of the woodwork to tell me that they, too, had miscarried at some point. If it is so common, why do we have that stigma? I don't get it. It's the same with mental illness, but I've already covered that plenty of times previously.
On a happier note, our house is looking more and more like a home. I painted the cabinets in two of our three bathrooms the same gray I used on our top kitchen cabinets. That dang oak is literally everywhere here. The only bathroom left is the master, but I fear I don't have enough paint leftover to do it, and I don't really want to buy another can for just that small project. Sigh...
Husband's little brother got married last Friday, that was one crazy day. Thankfully it didn't rain. Still the bride and groom were obviously on cloud nine and that's what really matters. It'll be nice for things to slow down and get back to more of a normal rhythm now. We had three weddings in a row in the weekends leading up to Husband's brother's wedding. And throw the miscarriage in there and it's been a really wacky few weeks. That's pretty much what's been going on since I last wrote, generally my life isn't that exciting. I know this post is all over the place, but it's all I've got right now.
It's been a little over a week since we moved into our house. The first project I wanted to tackle was painting the kitchen cabinets. They were a nasty golden light oak. (please excuse the Home Depot sacks with my supplies)
For real....who decided this should be the basic builder grade default??? Yuck. We also had to get a new fridge, as the one that was in the house didn't work. So we're planning on slowing updating all the appliances. White appliances are also a decorating sin in my eyes.
Anywho, I did a lot of research and decided to use a chalk based paint. Not to be confused with chalkboard paint. Chalk paint is thicker and doesn't require sanding prep. I used Rustoleum Chalked in charcoal and aged gray. I LOVED using this stuff. It was super easy to work with and gave me nearly perfect coverage in one coat. I always wondered what other bloggers meant when they would say chalk paint begs to be distressed. Now I get it. It dries to a great matte finish and looks amazing distressed. So when Husband said he liked the way it looked with just the one coat, I decided to run with the distressed idea. One thing about chalk paint is most of the time it's suggested to seal and protect it with wax. I used polycrylic as it's more durable and won't melt around heat. The polycrylic gave the paint a bit of a sheen, which at first I wasn't too happy with as I loved the matte, but it's grown on me. Plus it will be easier to clean with that protective coat.
And now I'll shut up and show you...the finished product!
Ta da!!! And check out our new sleek dishwasher! Blends right in and I love how quiet it is. I do want to put pulls and knobs on the drawers and doors, but that will have to wait a little bit. I'm really happy with the results. All in all, it probably took me about a week to complete if you take out the time I took off of painting to pack and actually move. Not bad at all! Would I do it again though? Doubtful. I have a dresser from my mother in law sitting in the garage waiting to be painted. Stay tuned for that reveal as well!
Well I guess it's pretty safe now to say that Husband and I bought a house!! It's been a kind of crazy ride, and things ended up moving pretty quickly. The first place we looked at, we really loved, but the HOA had weird rules. Like no street parking-EVER. Apparently there was guest parking somewhere for if you have people over, but we didn't see it. Either way, there was already an offer in on that place when we looked at it, but our realtor wasn't aware of it. And that offer would have been pretty tough to beat, so we decided to keep looking. We found three or four (I'm not 100% sure) more listings to check out a few days later, and by the afternoon of the day we were set to check them out, two of them had offers. Crazy. So we went to one Husband found that I wasn't too keen on based on the pictures. I ended up really liking it despite the light oak. Light oak is just awful in my eyes. However, I knew it would be stupid for that to be a deal breaker and this place was probably almost double the size of the others, for close to the same price. Hot dang. We can paint, but we can't really do much about space. So, we decided to put an offer in. And just a day later, it was accepted! It's still kind of surreal. As it sits right now, we're just waiting for the appraisal and we'll close at the end of the month. We're so excited to have our own space. Some days it seems like people in apartments just don't care. Whether it's noise, garbage, or idling your stupid truck for 30 minutes at a time. News flash: it's because of people like you that we have such terrible air!! End rant. I don't have any pictures of the place right now, I'd love to do some painting first. Maybe after we get settled I'll post some, but until then we're running around trying to get everything taken care of for the move.
Less than one week until I'm in the happiest place on earth!!! (I'm only a little bit excited.) On that note, I saw an image earlier this week that I've seen before, but decided was worth some of my thoughts.
I wasn't a huge fan of Winnie the Pooh as a kid, but I did love Tigger. As a kid, I didn't think much about Eeyore and his cloudy disposition. I just accepted that was how the character was, like how Piglet was always scared of things. (Random: what animal is Eeyore supposed to be?? Oh wait, I just remembered he's a donkey...yes?) As a child, it never occurred to me that his friends should try to change him or expect him to be happy like they are. He was simply accepted exactly how he was and that was okay.
What changes when we reach adulthood? What prompts that mental shift from acceptance to an urge to "fix" people? Is having depression such a black spot on one's personality that we all feel the need to dunk them in healing baths that usually just make things worse? I realize this may sound weird coming from someone who has expressed her plans to become a therapist. But I believe therapy and/or seeking medical attention is completely different than those around you pushing these interventions for the wrong reasons, which is what I'm attempting to address here. Too often it seems we try to fix someone without stopping to find out what the real problem is. And a lot of the time, these people don't need a cure-just a friend.
All too often, those who are struggling are told that it's all in their head, and if they just try hard enough to focus on the positive, they'll feel better and all will be well. I've always found that to be simplistic and somewhat insulting. While trying to be positive and look on the bright side can help, with some people it only works to a point. The mind and emotions are incredibly complex. There is so much involved with how we think and feel, that to just say "try harder" is probably one of the least helpful things you can do for someone. Chemicals called neurotransmitters are only one of the things responsible for our emotions. Some people simply do not have enough of these neurotransmitters (generally serotonin and/or dopamine) to have that cheery disposition we're all so inexplicably obsessed with. Other people may have enough of these neurotransmitters, but their receptors receive them too quickly for them to actually work. This is not something we have any control over. So please, stop yourself and think before telling someone who is struggling to just cheer up. It is not a light switch. It is not. that. simple.
And in those instances, there is no shame in asking for professional help. I know I say this a lot, and I plan to continue saying it until the stigma around mental health disappears. Whether that help is a therapist or a prescription, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. (And if that prescription comes from a medical doctor, try to find one with a background in behavioral sciences. Trust me, it makes all the difference in the world.) Those who struggle, specifically with depression, are not second class citizens. Or projects. We are people (or in Eeyore's case, a donkey) who just need acceptance and friendship. And kudos to Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet. They understood this. Let us all strive to be a little more like them and first try simply being a friend.
I need to rant. Slash whine. My OB gave me a prescription for Clomid at the end of last month. At first I was hesitant but I'm so sick of trying and getting nowhere so I gave it a go. And it frickin sucks. I felt fairly normal when I was actually taking the pills, but now that it's been about two weeks since I took the cycle of pills, I hate it. I feel pregnant, which makes absolutely no sense. I'm not due for my period until the end of next week, so it's way too early to speculate. And my face refuses to clear up, in fact, I woke up to it looking worse this morning. My first thought was maybe my hormones are out of whack for a good reason, but then I realized probably not as I always break out about a week before my period. And since it's Wednesday, it's not as early as I originally thought. What is the point of taking these awful pills that screw with my mind if I'm just going to get a big fat red stain on my birthday?! Honestly. Universe, just stop messing with me. I don't have the emotional stamina for this for much longer. I just don't. If I'd known all this was going to happen, I could have gotten a head start on my masters. But no....
And you know what doesn't help? What isn't at all comforting? Those couples who tried for 5-6+ years before they finally got pregnant. Do you have any idea how disheartening that is??? No, of course you don't. How could you? And sure...their trial went on way longer than mine...you know what? I don't care!! Because the fact of the matter is, I heard my daughter's heartbeat. She had a body. I felt her move inside me. SHE WAS HERE. And then left. So now I'm stuck trying to bring her back, with little to no help from the stars. I'm sick of this. I could have been a therapist by now. I could have made something more of myself. Instead, I'm sitting at home teaching myself how to be a housewife to a husband and cat. Because I can't start any big projects for fear of having to put them on hold at some point. And don't say it'll happen when it's supposed to or my time will come. Those are honestly THE LEAST helpful things to hear. Just let me scream and cry.
I thought that maybe if I just pulled up an open post and started typing, I'd come up with something worth posting. January is an ugly month, if you ask me. People start the month with great ideas and goals, only to end up falling short a good chunk of the time. I do realize this isn't the case with everyone, but around mid-January, you can see enthusiasm waning. Not to mention the snow now becomes an ugly snow. It's not the pretty pure white that falls around Christmas. The snow on the ground is now old and dirty. Plus there's just something about the first month of the year that seems to make it drag. It's as if the world is struggling to gain the momentum it needs for the rest of the year.
So I'm glad it's February. Psychologically, February feels better-at least it does to me. Plus it's my birthday month. I guess the roundabout point of those musings was to say that January was uneventful for me. Yikes, I feel like I'm rambling....Oh, here came an idea!
This past weekend Husband and I went to the ice castles in Midway with a friend of his and a date. The ice castles are somewhere I've been curious about ever since I first heard about/saw pictures of them. I don't know how they do it, but it's a winter only attraction. It's also where the Piano Guys shot their Let It Go video.
(While I don't love Frozen as much as everyone else seems to, I do think it's a cute movie. And how amazing are these guys?! I love them.)
Anywho, I was under the impression that they were completely enclosed. In reality, it's more like a series of little tunnels you can walk/crawl through made of ice. There were tons of kids running around having a grand old time. It was a fun experience, but I don't know if I'd make it a tradition-maybe after we have kids of our own. I also feel like a weirdo saying it was cool, because, well....ice. But it was good to get out of the house and into nature in a unique way.
It was a total surprise, I'd never even heard of this book before then. And I have to say, it is one of my new favorites. I LOVED it. Margee Kerr has my dream job. She has a PhD in sociology (not my dream) and works at a haunted house analyzing what scares people, how they react to different types of scares, and how to make the haunt better. How rad is that?! I can't even remember how many times I've said that if a job like that exists I want it. But you know, I think it's a safe observation to make that once you get a PhD, you can do whatever the heck you want. And a PhD has never interested me. I've always said if I'm going to go to school for that long, I might as well go to medical school. Every now and then I have to remind myself that I gave up the nursing route for a reason. And that the closest PA program to me has an acceptance rate of 3%. Sigh.
Anyway! This book was amazing. She talks about different experiences she had while writing Scream, such as ghost hunting at Eastern State Penitentiary and the CN Tower EdgeWalk. She talks about the psychology of fear, and different types of haunts around the world. As a psychology and Halloween/fear junkie, I devoured this book. I can't say enough good about it, but I don't want to simply give an overview of everything Kerr touches on. That's no fun. I'll just say this: if you have ANY interest at all in psychology, or just love Halloween and being scared, read it!!!
(Here's a link to buy it on Amazon if you feel so inclined.)
Somewhere in between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I planned an impromptu trip to Disneyland with my in-laws. I don't remember exactly how it all came up, but within the course of maybe 20 minutes we had decided that the four of us were going this spring. When Husband and I went last year, it was his first time going so it was really important to me to get to share my favorite things about Disneyland with him. There's a chance this trip may be the first for my father in law, I'm not sure. So again I really want to be able to share my favorites with the important people in my life. And while simply posting them here isn't the same as actually experiencing them, this is the best I can do right now.
The trip has been on my mind lately as I've been trying to find out if these rides will be closed when we're there or not. Unfortunately, 95% of the information I've been able to find is about what will be closed as they start work on Star Wars Land. None of the rides effected are on my list so I'm not too broken up about them being closed. While it stinks that the railroad will be closed, as it's a great way to get across the park and rest your feet, we'll make it work. Anyway, I can't find information about the standard closures and refurbishments that usually take place throughout the year. Disneyland doesn't post a schedule of when they will work on rides, so the only way to judge this information is to look and see when they have closed things in the past. But I can't even find that information! Things were fine for us last year so it'll probably be fine again, but you never know for sure. And it's stressing me slightly.
Now that I've gotten that out, I'll actually post what my favorites are! There's only three, as I'm only talking rides here. (I could go on and on about food and just the atmosphere itself at Disney, but I won't.)
Pirates of Caribbean
(None of these pictures are my own, as it's virtually impossible to get decent pictures inside dark rides using just your phone.) This is probably my favorite scene in the ride. It was referenced in the first Pirates movie, but I don't know how many people actually picked up on it. I've also always wanted to eat at the restaurant inside the ride, the Blue Bayou. For those who may be unfamiliar, it is right where you enter and exit the boats. It is kind of expensive though. Maybe this year....who knows.
Haunted Mansion
Madame Leota may be my favorite part of the Haunted Mansion, I don't know. I think the Hatbox Ghost is a great prop, but I've never actually seen him in action. Supposedly they've brought him back so I'm hoping I'll get to see him this go around. I remember going to Disney with my mom probably about 10 years ago (yikes!) in October and the holiday overlay of Nightmare Before Christmas was up instead of the traditional ride. My mom was so mad...since the last time I'd been before that was when I was just little, I didn't remember what the original ride was like so I didn't understand why she was so upset. Now I do. This ride is a classic. I've tried to like Nightmare Before Christmas because I love Tim Burton, but I just can't do it. Sorry.
Indiana Jones
Yes, this one is really bumpy and could probably stand an update, but I just think it's fun. I mean who doesn't love Indiana Jones? "Doctor Jones, Doctor Jones! No time for love!" Haha. That's not in the ride, but I still think it's a good one.
And there you have it! My three favorite rides at Disneyland. I'm so excited to be going back to my happy place. Cross your fingers that they'll all be up and running for us!
