I wasn't a huge fan of Winnie the Pooh as a kid, but I did love Tigger. As a kid, I didn't think much about Eeyore and his cloudy disposition. I just accepted that was how the character was, like how Piglet was always scared of things. (Random: what animal is Eeyore supposed to be?? Oh wait, I just remembered he's a donkey...yes?) As a child, it never occurred to me that his friends should try to change him or expect him to be happy like they are. He was simply accepted exactly how he was and that was okay.
What changes when we reach adulthood? What prompts that mental shift from acceptance to an urge to "fix" people? Is having depression such a black spot on one's personality that we all feel the need to dunk them in healing baths that usually just make things worse? I realize this may sound weird coming from someone who has expressed her plans to become a therapist. But I believe therapy and/or seeking medical attention is completely different than those around you pushing these interventions for the wrong reasons, which is what I'm attempting to address here. Too often it seems we try to fix someone without stopping to find out what the real problem is. And a lot of the time, these people don't need a cure-just a friend.
All too often, those who are struggling are told that it's all in their head, and if they just try hard enough to focus on the positive, they'll feel better and all will be well. I've always found that to be simplistic and somewhat insulting. While trying to be positive and look on the bright side can help, with some people it only works to a point. The mind and emotions are incredibly complex. There is so much involved with how we think and feel, that to just say "try harder" is probably one of the least helpful things you can do for someone. Chemicals called neurotransmitters are only one of the things responsible for our emotions. Some people simply do not have enough of these neurotransmitters (generally serotonin and/or dopamine) to have that cheery disposition we're all so inexplicably obsessed with. Other people may have enough of these neurotransmitters, but their receptors receive them too quickly for them to actually work. This is not something we have any control over. So please, stop yourself and think before telling someone who is struggling to just cheer up. It is not a light switch. It is not. that. simple.
And in those instances, there is no shame in asking for professional help. I know I say this a lot, and I plan to continue saying it until the stigma around mental health disappears. Whether that help is a therapist or a prescription, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. (And if that prescription comes from a medical doctor, try to find one with a background in behavioral sciences. Trust me, it makes all the difference in the world.) Those who struggle, specifically with depression, are not second class citizens. Or projects. We are people (or in Eeyore's case, a donkey) who just need acceptance and friendship. And kudos to Pooh, Tigger, and Piglet. They understood this. Let us all strive to be a little more like them and first try simply being a friend.
