We're told to smile in photographs, but is that our real selves? Photographs are designed to capture a person's essence, their personality, their memory. While being happy and smiling is a part of every person, it surely isn't the only part. And I personally do not see the harm in letting those parts show when needed. My favorite photographer, Richard Avedon, once had the opportunity to photograph the beautiful Marilyn Monroe. "For hours she danced and sang and flirted and did this thing that's-she did Marilyn Monroe. Avedon said about the experience. "Then there was the inevitable drop...she sat in the corner like a child, with everything gone. I wouldn't photograph her without her knowledge of it. And as I came with the camera, I saw that she was not saying no." When I first saw the image that came of this experience, I instantly loved it. Why? Because it is real. It is raw. It is not hiding anything.
In the song "City of Blinding Lights" by U2, there is a lyric that says "Don't look before you laugh, look ugly in a photograph. Flash bulbs, purple irises the camera can't see...Can you see the beauty inside of me?" The beauty inside, I believe, is all too quickly hidden by the command to smile and "look happy". One of the people I met at Weber State a few years ago is without a doubt one of the happiest people I have ever encountered. Almost to the point of being frustrating. He never had a bad thing to say about anyone or anything. He was a joy to be around, and it was only after I got close to him that I learned he had suffered from depression. It was fairly obvious to me that he had overcompensated and swung a bit too far in the other direction in an attempt to hide this malady.
BUT WHY?!
Folks, depression is not something to be ashamed of. Please, do not be. This social pressure to always be happy and smile, while it may be well intentioned, can often cause people to feel worse about themselves and push them to put forth a persona that is not real. And that bothers me a bit. The connections with others we make from day to day have the potential to be so much deeper and rewarding if we are willing to show what we may be afraid to. Obviously there are instances where this would not be the best decision. But for most people, it is so refreshing to find when someone is unapologetic about who they are, and own their struggles. Own who you are, every last piece. After all, what kind of life are you likely to live if there is always something hiding? I will be very open with the world now and say that I also deal with depression. And I have come to terms with it. At first, I hid but I soon realized that was no way to live life. So I dealt with it as best I could. I am open and honest about it because more people need to be. It is a part of me and I have accepted it, and I am doing my best to use it to help those who may be in similar positions. Please, people, let's be more real with each other. Think of the meaningful conversations you can have, and the friendships that can be deepened. Isn't that worth at least giving it a try with someone you trust and care about? Because chances are if that person truly cares about you, they will reciprocate in a positive way. All I am asking for is for more of us to accept every part of ourselves and use our imperfections to help those who might be struggling. Do not throw common human decency out the window because I said to let your less than picturesque features be known, but at least don't try let them make you feel like less of a good person. The things you have been through shape your life, and without them we would all be emotionless robots. Realize that just because you may not be as bubbly and perky as someone else, it doesn't mean you have nothing to offer. Make your imperfections and quirks your advantage and watch as amazing things unfold before your eyes.
